Dreams of Soledad

The Changes and the Unchanged

2010-10-18T19:37:00.005-05:00

Life's been crazy busy this year... It's been about two months since my last update, so it's no wonder that a lot has happened. I shouldn't just say that it's only school because up to a certain point that's all it's been with me. Well, school and family... However, there have been several changes this year and I'd like to think that it's all been for the best. :]

School is well... School to be put bluntly. There's nothing different about it other than me figuring that I needed to drop one of my courses so to keep myself from failing miserably this year. It's alright though. I'm a lot more relieved now that I did drop the course. It's not the first time I've done so, but at least this time I'm not taking up another course to keep my scholarships. It is difficult though. I'm trying really hard to not fail this calculus course and so far so good except I know it's tests that are killing my grade, but that just means I need to study the material better. Perhaps I should stop fiddling around online and get to it, huh? Not to worry, I will get there as soon as I'm done explaining all that has been missed.

Let's see... Oh, I'm in a relationship now.

To be quite honest, I didn't find this strange sounding... If that makes any sense. He was my best friend before he was my boyfriend, and I generally think that that's why. It's sort of as if we were already in a 'relationship' already, but more friendship than an actual relationship. We talked everyday. There were serious conversations, and not so serious conversations. There were movies and dinner with family, trips with high school friends, and even the friend to friend movie night downtown followed by dinner (sometimes). Sure, we've dated two or three times before back in high school and he's had a few girlfriends between me and him; where I hadn't it wasn't a big deal. I took that time to figure out who I was and where I was going in life before I figured out that he was always going to be a part of my life. It was strange when I figured that out... It was in a dream if that explains anything. We had just finished talking about his decision to join the United States Army instead of the Air Force like he has been talking about since high school. Regardless of his decision though I support him and I know he'll do his best wherever he decided to go. So it's been a good experience. :)

Something that hasn't changed (if that can be said) is that my family is still the big mess that it is and I think that's why I haven't really spent much time with them on the weekends that I go 'home.' I've learned recently that I don't need to be feeling guilty about my family. It's not my job to keep them together or to help/take care of them. I'm a junior in college trying to maintain a good education. I can't be letting this get to me and in the long run making me suffer... How am I supposed to keep up my school GPA and training for the Corps when I'm trying to help my family keep their heads up. I can't keep spoon feeding them like I have been and I certainly don't need to keep feeling guilty. That's what I've learned and that's what I need to do...

Yet I feel obligated that I must help my brother... :/ He's truly the only hope that I have in my family. He's such a great inspiration to me that I don't want to see him fall into the black hole that the rest of my family has set up around him... I can't... I won't. My want to help my brother shouldn't be a problem, right?

Well... I suppose I'll leave it at that and get back to calculus...

Until next time,
Soledad Trudeau

New Semester

2010-08-25T18:32:00.003-05:00

Somehow I can't believe that the first week of classes are almost over!! Soon all of the easy stuff will be past us and we'll all be moving into a full course load of homework, practicing and well... A lot of other busy stuff!! Though aside from the more difficult part of school coming closer, I can't wait for it! I don't know if I could even describe into words how excited I am. It's strange because just a few weeks ago I was freaking out about well, EVERYTHING! Funny how things just change so fast into something that could possibly be a lot of fun in the future.

Aside from that, I'm just a little bit upset that I still don't have a job. I probably shouldn't have quit that job at the bookstore my freshman year. I might not be in so much disappointment if I hadn't, but it was difficult; not work wise or anything but with no car to travel back and forth in on my own it was just such a strain. Even now though... I've tried so hard to find a job on campus, but nothing. I can't tell you how much that upsets me either. I think I was literally on the verge of tears or something because of it. Sometimes I think it's just God telling me that I don't need to work right now, that I need to be focused on my studies, on my position with the Student Academy of Forensic Sciences (S.A.F.S.), that it's all I need to be worried about right now. However, I still feel like I should be doing something... With that six and a half hour wait between Tuesday and Thursday classes I could be working. It's not like I have anything other than studying to do. I mean, S.A.F.S. only meets on the last Tuesday of every month. What am I supposed to do with the rest of that free time other than study? I think it more frustrates me than upsets me. What's wrong with me that people don't want to hire me?

... I should probably not continue this topic. I'll just get even more angry if I do and I've got Calculus practice problems to look at anyway.

Apples to Apples

2010-05-11T20:45:00.001-05:00

I don't know if any of you have every played this game, I mean I certainly hadn't until last Friday night when my roommates and I decided to hold a fun game night. In all honesty I wasn't exactly looking forward to the game. I remember watching my roommate play it once with a few other friends awhile back in the semester and just remember how it looked somewhat boring. I didn't understand the 'fun' out of laying down cards with nouns and adjectives on them... There was no sense... no logic. It wasn't until I actually played it that I realized "Oh hey, this is actually somewhat comedic."

So for those that haven't played, Apples to Apples is basically a game of hilarious comparisons (or according to the box it is).

Here's the synopsis from the back of the box: The hilarious game where everyone's opinion counts. Apples to Apples is the wild, card and party game that provides instant fun for four to ten players! It's as easy as comparing "apples to apples"...just open the box, deal the cards, and you're ready to play! Select the card from your hand that you think is best described by a card played by the judge. If the judge picks your cared, you win that round. And everyone gets a chance to be the judge! Each round is filled with surprising and outrageous comparisons from a wide range of people, places, things, and events. Fast moving and refreshing, Apples to Apples is perfect for any get-together with family and friends!

Back to the purpose of the entry, after awhile you start to gather cards from the rounds you win and it wasn't until one of my roommates mentioned it that I began to see just how fitting some of the adjectives of the cards I was winning were in resemblance to my actual personality. Some of course just right out countered each other, but there were some that well, fit to a T! It was crazy to be honest, but I just wanted to share a few results of the cards I won and see what you all thought. :]

Winning Rounds:
Responsible
Powerful
Repulsive
Eccentric
Pure
Popular
Dead
Melodramatic
Dangerous
Refreshing
Zany
Legendary
Depressing
Silly
Overwhelming
Foreign
Horrifying

What do you think? Fit? Don't fit? I'd like some opinions please. :]

My How Time Passes Us By

2010-04-27T10:10:00.003-05:00

I can't believe how long it has been since my last entry. I've always prided myself on being able to keep up with online blogs, but I guess that's changed a bit this year. :\ It's a bit upsetting, but it's not something that I should worry about too often, or at least I don't think it should be. I know many others that have blogs, none of which have told me links so that I can visit, that are always putting themselves down because they haven't blogged in awhile.

I don't see the problem in taking a few days off? I can understand if you enjoy that day-to-day blogging, but, and this probably sounds a bit biased, I don't think everyone wants to know what you've done everyday, right? I think it's good to see some change in the way people go about their life, but not all the details are important. Of course, if you've been through something and you're one to want to cherish each moment, then I suppose that's alright.

I guess, it's not really my stand to object to the way people run their own blogs. Guess it's a bit illogical for me to understand completely. Guess it's just another thing to put on my list. :]

Well I don't have much else to say other than wanting to post something up. I should go into a few details of what I've been doing, but there's just so much and so little time. I have class in about 40 minutes so I don't think it'll be wise to rant on a bit about my life. Like I said, so much to cover since the last update. I'll post one soon though. Perhaps later today, yes?

Till the next time,
Soledad Trudeau

It Really Was A Fun Night

2010-02-28T00:05:00.000-06:00

Got to hang out with the best friend tonight.

It was a lot of fun actually. I'm really tired right now so that's probably why I don't sound too excited about it, but I really did have a good time. Went bowling and I got to see some family that I haven't seen in a very long time so that was good. I miss them a bunch. They always find a way to make me smile. I mean I love my family too, but these guys are just a little more relaxed than my family, but I love them both just as they are. They all make me smile on occasion. Like now for instance. :)

Weird how that happens though, but I guess it comes with having a best friend. You're over at their place so much, or vice versa, that you adopt their family as a second family. I don't think I'd be able to even think about not having those people in my life. I couldn't be anywhere close to who I am today if I didn't have my best friend. She and her family (as well as mine) mean the world to me. I'd like to think they think the same way. We've been through a lot, and I although I can't see the future as well as I'd hope to, I know that there are a lot more adventures ahead for all of us to go through together.

Well, I have to be up early tomorrow. I just remembered that the roommate is making breakfast, which sounds like a good one by the way its planned. Can't wait to see what in store for tomorrow, aside from a good breakfast and a concert to play at. Not looking forward to the concert bit, but I suppose since it's a grade I do have to be there... which reminds me... have to get to writing those program notes now.. Great, just what I need: More homework.

I'm going to get to bed now.. or at least try.

ALERT!!! RANT ABOUT SCHOOL!!!

2009-10-26T15:52:00.001-05:00

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

I seriously am frustrated with my flippin' physical science class! I mean really!! The teacher needs to get a better grading rubric and fast! I am tired of see a failing grade on my paper and it being considered a 'C'. Tired of friends telling me that I should be happy with that. 

Um no people! I am not happy with that!!! I cannot afford to have a C on my transcript regardless of how well I do on my other classes. I have scholarships to maintain and classes to pass for my major curriculum. I do not want a C as my final grade for my physical science class. No thank you! Especially since science comes so easy to me! I do not understand why I am doing so horrible on tests! 

That is another thing that irks me to no end! I go to class EVERY SINGLE DAY and sit in the front EVERY SINGLE DAY and take notes of everything that the teacher writes down on the board, even taking notes of what he says EVERY SINGLE DAY and I still do horrible on tests. Half the kids in my lecture class do not even GO to class. They come for tests and half the time they are sitting in from of their laptops looking up the answers for the test!!! I mean sure the tests are open book/ open note, but seriously!!! I am literally tired of it! I do not even know what I should do about it anymore. I even talked the teacher, and tried to understand him, because he speaks in this weird way and it is confusing sometimes I will agree, but ugh! He told me that my studying is unfocused and that is why I am not doing well on my tests. >.<

Another thing that irked me today was that I took the time to rewrite my notes, type them up and send them to a few friends from class who missed a few days right? Took the time out of my busy schedule to do that for them so that they have what they need on the day of the test. Okay well one of those students that I sent them to got a flippin 100 on the test!!! Seriously!!! I cannot tell you how pissed I was that that had happened. >.<

I...

I am just going to go now. I do not even feel like talking about it anymore.

Until next time,
Soledad Trudeau

Suriving the Weather

2009-10-21T22:57:00.002-05:00

Well I seemed to have missed yet another day. In fact I seem to be doing that a lot more often than necessary. I really should update more often. However, there has not been much to update about other than my rants on my all time favorite television series. To which I will be mentioning later on. Maybe sooner than you think.

Oh! In case you were wondering about it, not that you were or anything. It is raining here yet again! For the next two days, well one more, it will be raining. Not much fun when it is raining. That usually means I cannot ride my bike to class, or to the store, or to anywhere really! Grr. I do love to ride my bike, except with weather like this there is not much I can do. I suppose I still could ride around a bit, but who would want to get wet while doing so. I do not find it comfortable what-so-ever to sit around in a cold classroom after being drenched in water. It does not sound like a fun idea at all. It just needs to stop raining, that and being cold. Cold weather is not so much fun either. Especially since I have not yet invested in those long sleeved t-shirts and heavy winter jackets. I do not really have the money to do so, so that is another reason why I have yet to do that. However I must do so before January comes around. If I plan to survive the winter air in Washington D.C. then I must go buy myself a good coat.

Yes, I am going to Washington D.C. I cannot wait to do so either! It is going to be such an amazing trip and where I wish I could go roam around and walk by the Washington Naval Yard, I do not think my group would like that very much considering that we are going for something much more spiritual and faith related. :D Either way, I am looking forward to this trip. All I really have to do is save money, and lots of it.

My Rant is next. :p

NCIS Season 7, Episode 5: Code of Conduct
(I actually wrote this while I was watching the episode)

Ziva: You know Tony I've been thinking, and um, I would like to acknowledge my place as a new agent and your place as
DiNozzo: Your superior in every way
Ziva: Yes, but for my sanity, could you not call me Probie.
DiNozzo: I say it with love. [ small pause] And if I refuse
Ziva: You are senior field agent, and I am entirely at your mercy
DiNozzo: Hehe, as you should be

At this point in time, DiNozzo has taken the coffee cup offered to him by Ziva and taken a drink from it. Now remember this is a Halloween related NCIS episode so naturally there will be some trickery. Sure enough, the last seen before the big black screen is Tony smiling, his teeth covered in what looks like to be blue food coloring. It was exceptionally hilarious!

So my response was natural:
Haha!! This time Ziva was pulling the tricks!! That makes me smile. :) No preview for next week's episode??? Does that mean we will not see one until November!! GASP! NO!!! T.T

So originally I missed the airing of the episode but I am watching the recorded version right now. The only reason why I know that line is because I watched the ending of it, only then remembering that it was on tonight. So yeah, back to my watching. I always laugh at the Halloween episodes of NCIS :p

Okay. Is anyone else bothered with the Season 6 credits??? I mean really, it is a whole new season!! Let us see something new when we sit down to watch our favorite show!! Make us more eager to watch the season when we see new clips in the credits. Please?

Gibbs: " 'Agent' David, you're driving."
Ducky: "Looks can be deceiving 'Agent' David."

Twice, well maybe a few more times, but twice was the word 'agent' stressed when being directed. :D Makes me extremely happy to see Ziva is earning her spot on the team just like everyone else, even though she still has to go through the probationary officer standing. It is still pretty awesome. :)

DiNozzo: "I'll handle the questions here Probie, thank you." (Addressed to Ziva during questioning.)

DiNozzo: "Looks like you got a problem in your neighborhood Mr. Rogers. That's a nice sweater by the way."(The neighbor's name was Ted Rogers!!! xD)

Just hit the first commercial and already some great lines!!! I am excited for the rest of it! :D

DiNozzo: "Thrill me McGoblin." (It is a Halloween episode what else can you expect from Tony.)

Palmer drops the pumpkin!! xD I knew it! That or the pumpkin would have exploded. :p
^ At this point, Ducky is explaining to Gibbs how the Corporal was killed. Liquid nitrogen does some pretty mean stuff. xD

Tony: You brought us coffee?
Gibbs: Nope
McGee: Its apple cider
Gibbs: Yep, Happy Halloween! [pause as he sits at his desk, then gets up] Break's over.

Then taking the cups he brings in from Tony and Ziva!! I love Halloween episodes! :p

Gibbs: No costumes this year Abs?
Abby: Oh, after last year's Jonas Brothers debacle, Vance band costumes. McGee, skinny jeans, didn't work.

O.o The thought of McGee in skinny jeans scares me. Abby is right. Does not work. :p I do not remember that episode... or if they showed it. Hmm... Means only one thing. I must watch all the episodes again!! xD

DiNozzo: Probies, talk louder! [as he walks into the men's room)
Gibbs: [walks out of the men's room and bumps into Ziva arguing with Tony, who is still in the men's room] Problem Probie? (This time Gibbs has called her Probie and then goes on to explain why she should not be and he responds with the whole 'clean slate' thing. :p It was actually a pretty funny scene.)

DiNozzo: What did my Probie sandwich find out?
DiNozzo: Well done, Probie

A great episode. Reminded me of how much I love Halloween episodes for NCIS. :D Make me smile all the time. :p Anyway this one was pretty long and well like I said, I was writing it as I was watching the episode so it probably did not make much sense, but overall what more could be said other than it was another good episode. I am more thrilled to see the next one because I was reading a few articles and I keep hearing that the sixth episode is rumored to be one hell of an episode. So I am eagerly awaiting that!!! Impatiently too if I might add.

Well until next time, which will hopefully be soon.
Maybe Friday. Saturday. Ah, who knows. :p

Soledad Trudeau

Rainy Days Come with Prices to Pay

2009-10-14T15:32:00.001-05:00

Why does it have to rain... especially all week? Either way it messed up a few days of rehearsal for marching band, but it didn't really do much to spoil the days that came this week. Well some of them anyway. The rain today messed up with the marching band, but I still had to take that programming test I have been worrying about this week. :\ I know I did alright, but there were still a few problems that I knew for sure would just drop the score on my grade. I put what was needed, but there were still some parts of a few programs that I could not remember. I spent the last few days cramming and studied routinely before that so I am unsure how I will score on this test, but I should be looking for a good sign since I felt the same way about my Trigonometry test this past Monday and I scored an '80%' on that one so... I will be taking that as a sign saying "You will do fine."

NCIS Season 7, Episode 4: Good Cop, Bad Cop
I missed last night's update on my routine blog to discuss the week's episode of NCIS. I must say it was pretty awesome. Had some funny moments in it and well, overall it was a favorite. The ending especially. :D Facebook status says it all, well that is if you are on topic with what is going on in the series right now. I really want to finish buying the rest of the show. I still need season 6, but it will not take me long to get it. I have decided that it is best to have them all on an external hard drive to save money. I would eventually like to have them all on DVD, but for now playing them through my media player is just fine.

"Get to work, Probie."

I must admit that was one of my favorite lines of the show. It really put emphasis on Ziva's upcoming role on the team. She will have much more work to do than she had originally, but really I can not wait to see how Tony is going to treat her. She is the new 'Probie' so there has to be SOME jokes pulled on her. However, the whole used-to-be-a-crazy-Mossad-asassin may get in the way, but Tony could still try right? :p

:D I am just excited that Ziva has a permanent spot on the team. Her father does not like it, but there is nothing more he could do since she has resigned from Mossad. Oh and the brilliant thing about that was that she had no regret doing so. She sent her father an e-mail!! xD Shows how much she cares for that. :p I love it though, I mean she will do so much with the team, and as much as I want to see her and Tony get together already, I think many people are right when they say that it will ruin some bits of the show. For now I will be satisfied with all the sexual tension between them. :p Eventually though they WILL HAVE to get together.

Sort of reminds me of another show that I watch: GREEK. Cappie and Casey belong together. Enough said there. :D

Well I could ramble all day about what I am doing here in the Math and Computer Science Building lab, but that would be boring and who really wants to hear boring stuff about what I do here. I mean I go to school here and that is, well that is enough for anyone. School is school and nothing there is of any interest to those that live elsewhere. :p So for now I will say good day and leave you all to your afternoon.

Until next time,
Soledad Trudeau

Routine Blog?

2009-10-06T20:07:00.002-05:00

I think I want to start writing routinely about my ideas on the new NCIS season. :p

Sounds like a stupid idea, but I am thinking that it will most likely start out with a rant and then lead into what has happened recently with life, since that is what a blog is usually for. So let me begin with tonights episode.

NCIS Season 7, Episode 3: The Inside Man
I am starting out a bit late, but better now than never. I must say that I loved it! It let me have a good laugh and the next episode proves to be even better than ever! Since Season 6's finale I saw many ideas flowing through my head about how the next season was going to go, and I was not disappointed in any way. The season premiere was probably one of the best that I have seen. Seasons 5 and 6 did have really good premieres but they do not even compare to how Season 7 started off.

Right so I must get back to the episode.

The arangement of the polygraph examiner and McGee was cute. xD Made me laugh at how she teased him and he was sitting there with the machine wires strapped to him and the machine beeping away like crazy. Hilarious!! I am a firm believer in McAbby though, considering they were together at one point and I still believe that it will happen. It may not be soon, but it will happen. Just like Tiva will DEFINITELY happen. I mean the entire scenario with them in the first two episodes totally shows that it will happen. :D

Speaking of Tiva, I will go off on half of the pairing. Ziva's scene where she is writing to her father was just so very exciting to me! I mean I have had thoughts of her just resigning from Mossad and joining the NCIS MCRT permanently. It would be the most awesomest thing ever! But of course the episode ends with Gibbs sitting there at his desk, pen in hand, teasing the viewers that he is actually going to sign Ziva on the team. What is next? The big black screen of death for viewers!

I was so upset!! Hence my Facebook status. I really want it to be next Tuesday already because of that ending. The preview for the next episode looks promising. I suppose it will have to wait. How will I ever live! xD Just kidding.

Right so I laughed hardcore at the jail impound where DiNozzo and McGee are trying to get into the car. :p Brilliant! The dog barking ringtone was so Tony. I mean it is just like him to have something like that to freak McGee out. Then it turns out to be real dogs!! Them climbing on the cars was a good touch to the scene too. :D McGee was completely freaked! Awe how NCIS is my escape from the real world. Love how this cast can just make me laugh and smile.

So this entry has turned out to be pretty long, but I like long entries. They really make a blog worth its title. I however am getting tired. Must be the new medication my doctor has me on. Whom I did see today, and am glad to know that it is nothing too serious. I was a bit worried when hearing there were around four confirmed cases of the swine flu swimming around the sorority. O.o I was really worried when I got all the flu symptoms last week. However this week I am have nothing but a dry cough, an irritated throat, and symptoms of a sinus infection. Lame. I hate sinus infections. I do not ususally get them, and I think this may be the first. How can I hate them? They make me feel miserable. End of story.

Well since I am feeling the effects of my medication I best get going.

Until next time,

Soledad Trudeau

The Beginning of the End.

2009-10-05T10:47:00.001-05:00

I made a reference to a BONES episode. :D

Anyway, Homecoming has come to and end and I do not think I could be more happier.

In all honesty, I can finally get back to studying every night instead of worry about some routine that I eventually have to memorize. The only memorization I have to worry about now is for marching band, but that comes a lot easier than anything else. However, despite homecoming being over I am a bit sad that the chance to bond with some of those girls is over. I guess there is still the rest of the semester to do so.

I am tired, but I still have a load of classes to get to. Starting with my Programming class. I am just about bored with it though. It is certainly not a good thing, but it is a for real feeling. I tell myself it will get better, and I think I only feel this way because I am still somewhat sick. So when the sick-ness passes, hopefully so will the tired feeling.Either way, until next time.

Soledad Trudeau

Frustration to the Millionth Power

2009-09-23T21:35:00.000-05:00

Now I do not have long, well I do, but I do not want to sit here and write a rant that is as long as seven pages on a Word document. Although I do not thing I can get there even if I do ramble on a few things.

So I am worn out and exhausted. I never thought I would say that, but all this cheer and dance thing for Homecoming is driving me up the wall. I started out doing it because I thought it would be fun, yes? But it has gotten to be too much of a major priority thing and I am done. I do not wish to do it anymore, but I do not have a choice considering that if we have any more girls drop it would be chaotic. The two girls in charge would not be very happy with my decision if I did decide to quit. I like the experience, but they must realize that we do not have much of a chance of winning the competition. I did not like how they came over and yelled at us yesterday while we were practicing just like they told us to. All because they wanted to to a run of what we already know.

I believe our practices would be a lot more... well they would be a lot more organized if they gave us a counting structure for when to move to the next set/formation. >.< I am someone that needs to have a precise count when to move or everything is out of order, especially with something so heavily involved in being on time when it comes to a few stunts and formations. It is what band has done to me and it makes it all the better if it were like that. So gives us a counting structure and maybe, just maybe every little kink would work itself out.
I do not know about the other girls, but I just want all of this homecoming junk to come to an end.

Soledad Trudeau

Might As Well Right?

2009-09-05T22:46:00.002-05:00

I seem to have nothing going on right now. Like this instant I mean. Why? Well its because I have no life. In all honesty I haven't done much lately except for school, which is probably a good thing right? Helps to not procrastinate and such right? Pft. I don't know why I'm even complaining, it's a good thing right now that I have time, but there's something bugging me about that....

I don't even know why I'm updating right now, but I might as well right? I mean I haven't updated in awhile and really I don't feel comfortable to write anything personal except for this 'not so settling gut' feeling about having a lot of time on my hands.

Meh, I don't know.

I'll update more later.

Soledad Trudeau

Failure.

2009-06-06T18:42:00.003-05:00

I feel like such a failure. >.<

Seriously. I haven't even blogged on here since like.... May. It's flippin' June! That's almost an entire month! I need to make it a habit again. I need to start making a lot of things a habit again. Any ideas??? Probably not. Since no one really comments this thing much.. which is sad... Everyone has facebook and shit. I'm sort of sick of that now. I mean its good for networking and finding friends from forever ago, but that's really all it is. I miss the good old blogs. Blogs like these, and then livejournal works too. I still have my Xanga from like forever ago, but I need some time to find my passwords and shit. Wow.. that's twice now that I've used that word. Go me.

Anyway, I'll start making more updates and stuff from now on. If I don't, I give you full permission to hunt me down and make me.

Yours,
ST

Letting Go.

2009-05-10T02:00:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I just like to let my fingers slide over the keyboard, searching for the right way to express my feelings.

I'm gunna be honest and go with the keyboard. I don't know there's just something about sitting at a computer and just letting my fingers press the keys that will eventually lead to expressing what I want said. With it up on the screen it makes it easier to read over the chicken scrach I call my own handwriting. I'd someday like to start a written journal and have bought one, but I guess I'm still looking for that best time to. :] Anyways, I was honest. I love the computer more than wriitng anything out. It's one of the things I'm best at.

The next scene features pain.

2009-04-15T22:38:00.002-05:00

Is there ever any hope?

Through all the constant bickering all that she wants to do is run and hide in the comfortable darkness of her room. To disappear from the pain that shoots through her the moment they give the sign of everything turning downhill. To get away from it all, and find a way for peace to be created within the dark confined space.

No way is present.

The shadows overcome the scarce light that shines through the color stained windows, and silence moves to a large forte after a crash sounds below. There's no stopping the small droplets that fall from her eyes as she listens to the quarreling, frozen by fate as the shadows continue.

'High School Musical' imitates life

2009-04-12T15:18:00.003-05:00

How I wish my life were a musical.

Not saying that my life is a musical, or that I come close to starring in one, but I think a few of the characters in these movies remind me quite a bit of myself.

Troy Bolton:
He's the star of the movie, and that one who at the end of it all knows what's the right thing to do. A reliable best friend. He's the one that is tryiing so hard to search for who he really is, and basically that's where I am right now. Life is a journey, and right now I'm still searching.

Gabriella Montez:
I know a lot of people compliment that I look like Vanessa Hudgens, and I'll be honest: I like hearing that. She's always together, the perfectionist so to speak, and that's exactly the way I run my life. Always planning things to get done. You can ask any one of my friends, and 9 times out of 10 they'll tell you that I'm a complete freak when it comes to getting things right the first time.

Ryan Evans:
The one who's loyal through it all. Ryan follows his sister's every move and its not under the second installment that he begins to understand that he needs to make a new image for himself while still being loyal to his sister. He's always been one of my favorite characterrs, and his loyalty is a match for mine. I'm with my friends though thick and thing.

Sharpay Evans:
Okay, not exactly what you think, but hear me out. Sharpay is motivated to doing her best in anything, even if it means being the self-absorbed person that she is. She will do anything it takes to win that role. I'm a motivated person, and once I set my mind to something, I will get it done, and that's basically all the qualities I can take from her.

Do I really have to choose?

2009-04-12T13:30:00.003-05:00

Who would you rather be seated next to on a daylong bus trip: an irritating talker or a quiet starer?

Neither is a good choice, but I'd take the talker any day, The starer would just creep me out, and I don't like people staring at me. I'd practically go insane if I had to sit next to them on this bus trip. The talker would at least continue some conversation, and if I get lost in that conversation I could always go with the 'uh-huh' response and just shake my head before going back to a book I was reading or listening to my iPod or something.

Although I will have to stop them at one point, cause I think they'd really irritate the hell out of me. So I'd stop them for a good fifteen minutes before they go back to talking again. I wouldn't exactly deprive them of their 'talent'.

A dead battery makes it easy.

2009-04-12T12:58:00.002-05:00

The only reason why I went an entire day without a cell phone was because of a dead battery. It actually helped out in the long run because I had to go a day without my cell phone for a Design class as an outside assignment. Another thing that helped greatly to distract me was that very same day we held a marching band contest at the school, so I was busy running around all over the campus guiding bands, running judges sheets, moving equipment, etc. It was a crazy day, but it made the lack of usage on my cell phone easier than it would have been if I wasn't always busy.

"I can't believe this is happening." "Well believe it."

2009-04-11T23:16:00.003-05:00

Who would have thought that the one person you haven't talked to in years would turn out to be the one person you'd get stuck in an elevator with.

A scoff sounded just as the emergency lights lit up in the lift. "I can't believe this is happening," replied Soledad as she threw her hands up before landing them on her hips. "Well believe it," answered Mark as he pushed himself off the wall, "looks like we're stuck," he continued as he began pressing the buttons of the panel, checking for a response.

Why choose Mark to get stuck in an elevator with?
I think reagardless of the time apart, Mark would probably be the best choice to get stuck in an elevator with. Why? That's easy: we'd spend the entire time catching up on what's going one with each other's lives. I mean he's the one person that has kept in touch since our roleplaying days after that separation. :p Sounds selfish I know, but seriously that contact matters.

You're probably asking why not your best girl friend, or your boyfriend? Unless Mark is your boyfriend?

Ha! You couldn't be more wrong! Mark's one of my best guy friends, simply an amazing person who knows. In all honesty I think I'd get annoyed with my best girl friend, any one of them, regardless of how well we really know each other. I'm just one of those types of people that gets that way. As for boyfriends, don't really have the time to have one with school and all, which is sad. :[

Anyways, I do believe that my small opening paragraph has inspired me to write a short story, so I'm off to do so. :] Don't worry, I'll post the story here later.

Just be honest.

2009-04-11T12:13:00.003-05:00

Sweet-talking was never one of my fortes.

I'm a complete failure when sweet-talking someone into doing something for me, or for me to get something. In all honestly, I basically come right out and say what I need. Truth and honesty get me what I want. I think its because of that, that a few people are confused on how that works, but it does. All you have to do is give all the information without it being false or hiding anything important, and be honest with where you're going.

After that, there's no problems.

Who said anything about wanting to impress.

2009-04-10T21:29:00.002-05:00

Think casual.

I *heart* my jeans

I'm not one to really impress anyone. I want them to see me for who I am and not someone I'm trying to be. If they can't like me for who I am, then they're not worth the time and effort to get to know. I'm someone who likes to be comfortable when going out on the town or hanging out with friends. Don't have time for dates or anything because of school and there's really no one for me to impress dress wise so I usually do that with academics. :]

To New Changes

2009-04-09T08:05:00.002-05:00

So I've decided that I need to start carrying around a journal.

Seriously.

I'm almost done with my first year of college and I don't think I've written down anything about it to remember. I don't count whining complaints about classwork and projects as anything special to remember other than I did a lot of tough work and such, but seriously. I need a journal. One that I will carry around with me and write in every chance that I get. Including times and dates. Even if they're just a random thought. It needs to be with me always.

Why am I going on a rant here?

Today I was told something that I don't think I've really though through. To be honest, I think its the second time someone has told me this, and being me I don't think I really paid much attention the first time if it took me for a second round to really understand something so small and important.

To paraphrase she said something like this: "All that you've done, you've done for you." I think I"ll add by saying: "Whether or not its for the good or the bad, the effects will come around. What will you do then?"

So here's something I want to change during the summer for the next year:

I want a journal at the start of the new year. One I will write in everyday, regardless of the load I carry during the week. One that will be my shoulder, so to speak, to cry on when I need one and there isn't one around for me to. One where every inch of the page will be covered by a thought, or something that has recently inspired me.

I want to improve in the way I plan my days, and the way I spend my time. I love the computer too much to take any time away from it, but I have to understand that there is a life outside of it (even if it isn't one that I'm looking for). I need to grow more as a character in my own story, rather than the author writing it by the decisions I make.

It's time for new changes, even if it is scary.

-ST